


The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

by Hotspur



Category: Henry IV Part 1 - Shakespeare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Hal and Poins are brats, Harry ruins Kate's Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day, date nights gone horribly wrong, movie theaters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:44:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hotspur/pseuds/Hotspur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Kate go to a movie for Valentine's Day. The same that Hal and Poins go to. Disaster ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The St. Valentine's Day Massacre

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Caelidra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caelidra/gifts).



> While a little late for Valentine's Day, I couldn't pass up this idea I had. Kudos if you guess what movie they're seeing. I wrote this for my best friend who I am slowly dragging down into Henry IV hell. Sorry there's no Falstaff/Quickly but at least there is Francis.

Harry hated dressing up but he had grudgingly tied a necktie for the night. It was Valentine's Day and he had a lot to make up for. Edmund had suggested that Harry take Kate to a movie for the evening and much to his relief, Kate hadn't wanted to go to whatever sappy chick flick was showing, instead she had suggested they see an action film. So they took their seats in the theater during the previews with a bucket of popcorn and a large soda to share between the two. 

At the same time, Hal and Poins had decided to catch a movie. It was Valentine's Day, so why not play boyfriends or something, although their relationship was platonic. Plus, Hal had been excited for the new film about a smart-ass mercenary. The two got popcorn and found a place in the theater behind another couple, the lady trying to keep her date from fidgeting. Poins dramatically laid his hand on Hal's shoulder, like a clingy girlfriend. Hal laughed. 

Harry was already bored. All the previews looked stupid and he was impatient for the movie to start. To try to keep still, Kate squeezed his hand. If he got bored during the movie and she played her cards right, they'd make out rather than him getting into trouble. All the other movie goers were in front of them, they were the only ones in their row, and there were just two young guys behind them. The insipid previews ended and the movie started, occupying Harry. 

At some point around halfway through, Poins threw a piece of popcorn at the man in front of Hal. Fortunately the movie was hysterical and Hal didn't have to hide his laughter at his friend's antics. The man stiffened and his date put her hand on his shoulder, making Hal and Poins snigger more. Hal took a handful of popcorn, ate all but one, and threw that at the light-haired man in front of him. 

Something hit Harry in the back of his head. At the second impact, he turned and glared at the two boys behind him, who couldn't have been more than twenty-five. Brats. They didn't seem to notice Harry and were engrossed in the movie, although he could have sworn he felt something... A split second after he turned back to the screen, he felt it again. Judging by the weak tap... it had to be popcorn. The little creeps were throwing _popcorn_ at him. Harry gripped the seat's armrest. Kate sensed the anger rising in her husband and laid her hand on his. 

"Harry, sweetie..." She whispered soothingly.  
This made Hal and Poins laugh even more. Poins threw his arms around Hal's neck. "Oh, Harry, sweetie," he said, imitating the lady in front of him and making Hal's sides hurt from laughter.

Kate handed Harry the large cup of pop, hoping to keep his mind from the troublemakers behind him. He took a long, derisive slurp. Then, just as his attention returned to the movie, one more kernel hit the back of his head and Harry snapped. 

What happened next was something of a blur, but no less violent than the movie they were supposed to have been seeing. Somehow Harry turned and lunged over the back of his seat, grabbing the two kids behind him. It was a flurry of fists, a leg, an explosion of popcorn, and screaming. Kate could do nothing but watch as somehow two seconds of action were dragged out before her eyes in slow motion. Short, stocky Harry flew over the row of seats and pummeled the boys behind them, one shrieking in laughter and the other shrieking in fear. 

The next thing Hal and Poins saw was the man they'd been torturing lunging at them. Poins was grabbed by the neck and screamed in terror while his best friend Hal was nearly in tears from laughter. The fight was short, ending with the manager storming in and grabbing both the man and both boys as the lady watched helplessly. Hal and Poins could not stop laughing despite the situation. 

Another Valentine's Day down the drain. Kate and Harry were seated in the manager’s office, being grilled by the manager and a police officer over just why Mr. Percy beat up two kids in the theater. Also sitting in the office were the provocateurs, Ed Poins and Hal Bollingbroke, the latter of whom by some horrible coincidence was the son of Harry's boss. Kate just sat there, her head in her hands. Harry glared at the kids, who were also being lectured by the manager. 

The door opened and Mr. Bollingbroke, Harry's boss, entered. To everyone's surprise he didn't even look at Harry, instead marching up to his son and grabbing him. 

“I'm sorry my son gave you trouble,” he said, looking at the manager. “I'm sure he is too, Ms.-”

“Quickly,” the manager introduced herself. 

“Ms. Quickly. Again, my apologies for my son and his loser friend.” Still gripping his son, he took hold of Poins and began hauling them out. Mr. Bollingbroke caught Harry's eyes. “Hello, Percy,” he said, and nothing more. He dragged Hal and Poins out of the office like they were a couple of five year olds. 

Harry probably would get his ass kicked tomorrow morning at work but he thought it was worth it to teach that brat Hal Bollingbroke a lesson. Kate just sighed and linked her arm with Harry's, hoping dinner would be less violent and that she would find a way for him to make it up to her. 

Hal and Poins suffered the drive of shame, Mr. Bollingbroke driving in silence with them in the back. Any sound or eye contact with Hal's father would signal death. Despite the trouble they were in, the two were triumphant. Nothing beat seeing Percy’s reaction to the taunting, even though for a moment they both were sure they were about to be murdered. 

\------

Francis sighed, looking at the theater floor which was covered in popcorn. Usually he found all sorts of messes but this one looked like an all-out war had happened. Or someone just spilled their popcorn. It didn't matter, he just set about cleaning up the popcorn, spilled pop, and other gross stuff on the floor and wondering if this was really worth his wage. In the projection booth he could see Peto getting ready for the next showing. Somewhere down by the exit, the manager yelled at Francis to get back to work.


End file.
